Why we married same day, at same venue – Triplets and Wives

Why we married same day, at same venue –Triplets and wives – Punch ...

•The triplets, their wives and the doctor who delivered them as babies, Dr Dickson Ani

Chinedu Onyia is the eldest of a set of triplets that wedded their wives on the same day – June 6, 2020 – in Enugu. Chinedu got married to Mary Dumalu nee Osaji, who is from Delta State. They tell RAPHAEL EDE how the idea came about

Why did you and your brothers choose to marry on the same day?

Chinedu: It was our wish, while we were growing up, to have it like that. It was also our mum’s wish for us to marry at the same time. She always imagined the three of us getting married on the same day. She felt it would look very nice and prayed for it to happen because it was not going to be easy for all of us to be ready at the same time.

Since it was the wish of your mother, is she still alive?

Chinedu: She died in 2013 so unfortunately, she wasn’t there to witness it. If she were alive, she would have been excited. I know she would have gone down on her knees to thank God for answering her prayer and making her wish come true.

How did the two of you meet?

Chinedu: I saw her walking on the street and was attracted to her. I didn’t talk to her that day; I waited till I was able to get somebody close to her before making my move. When we talked for the first time, we exchanged contacts and became friends.

Dumalu: It was during my National Youths Service Scheme programme; he saw me and fell in love with me. We later exchanged contacts and started talking. He said he liked me and wanted to settle down. I said I would think about it. After some time, I replied that I liked him and he started making arrangements for our traditional marriage and white wedding.

Did the three of you (brothers) tell your women separately that you would like to have your weddings on the same day or it was done together?

Chinedu: We are not based in one state so we have different stories of how we told our wives. The discussions were done separately.

 

Did your women object to the idea of marrying on the same day?

Chinedu: When we mentioned it to them, they were excited and had not seen it happen before. So, they were eager to witness it. We are grateful to them because they sacrificed their idea of the kind of wedding they wanted for it.

Why did you agree to it?

Dumalu: I love my husband and I have to love what he loves and like what he likes. We loved the idea. They said they would like to get married on the same day because they are triplets, I said how would it go. We worked together, planned for it and it went very well. It sounded funny at the early stage but after some time, I felt ‘the world go hear am’ (the world will hear about it). At least, people will know that there is love.

What if the women had disagreed?

Chinedu: The idea was exciting; so they would want to be part to it. It is like a project you will want to be involved in. So they saw it as a project that must be delivered. They welcomed it and worked towards it. They made sacrifices to ensure that it worked out.

Which one of you found the woman he wanted to marry first and courted for a longer period of time than the others?

Chinedu: Ebuka and Okwuoma, their courtship was longer than mine and Kenechukwu’s. They met in school.

Did your wives sometimes mistake you for one another?

Chinedu: No, they can identify us.

How identical are you?

Chinedu: We are not very identical; if you look closely, you will know we look different.

Have you ever mistaken your husband for any of his brothers?

Dumalu: I know my husband!

What was the most interesting thing that happened on that day?

Chinedu: We saw it as a project that had been delivered and everybody was excited.

You live in different states, how stressful was it to have your weddings at the same venue?

Chinedu: As a family, most of our events are done around Easter and Christmas Day when relations will be available. That was why we planned to have the weddings around Easter but we had to postpone them because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

How was the common venue used for the weddings chosen?

Dumalu: Enugu is central; I am from Delta State, another wife is from Enugu and the third one is from Imo. And since Enugu is centrally situated, we chose Enugu.

Did your parents feel that they didn’t get to host their son-in-law?

Dumalu: We did the traditional marriage before the wedding; that is the more important one in my place. The traditional marriage was done in my hometown so my daddy had no problem with anywhere we chose for the white wedding.

Did the three of you (couples) start courting around the same time?

Dumalu: I don’t think so. I met my husband during my national service year. One of my brothers-in-law met his woman at his workplace. I don’t know when my third brother-in-law (Ebuka) met his woman but their relationship lasted for four years.

If you had been dating your husband for some time and his brothers didn’t have a partner yet, would you have agreed to wait for your husband’s brothers to be ready so you could all marry on the same day?

Dumalu: I would have waited.

How did you feel on your wedding day?

Dumalu: Oh! I felt happy and great. It was awesome.

Most women like their wedding days to be special and to be about them, did you feel like the focus was not on you and that there were other women competing with you on that day?

Dumalu: No! The focus was on the triplets and their wives.

So, there was no issue about who looked better…

Dumalu: There was nothing like that. We wore the same type of gown, did the same type of hairstyle and so on.

How would you describe your relationship with your sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law?

Dumalu: They are wonderful people. They are good people. They have good hearts and are very lovely.

How did your traditional marriages go?

Dumalu: Ebuka had his on December 28, 2019; mine was on January 4, 2020, while Chinwe’s was on February 21, 2020. We pray that God will sustain and strengthen us all.

  

Chukwuebuka Onyia is one of the triplets that wedded their wives on the same day and at the same venue in Enugu on June 6, 2020. Chukwuebuka married Okwuoma Chekwube nee Ani, who hails from Enugu State. They tell RAPHAEL EDE how they felt about marrying on the same day with Chukwuebuka’s brothers and their partners

How many siblings do you have?                                    

Chukwuebuka: We are seven and I’m the sixth child. I came with two others as a set of triplets. In the set, I am number two.

Are your wives also triplets?

Chukwuebuka: Contrary to what trended online, they are not triplets like us. They are actually from three different states – Enugu, Delta and Imo.

Why did you and your brothers choose to marry on the same day?

Chukwuebuka: We came to the world together and have always done things together; we share the same birthday and almost everything else. We shared the same womb for nine months, shared the same bed and so on. So, we decided to also have our weddings together.

Why did you agree to it?

Okwuoma: I had to agree to it because they were serious about it. I did not even hesitate; I said if that is your plan, okay, let’s work towards it. And we had always wished the Bishop of the Anglican Diocese of Nike Diocese would officiate at our wedding. The bishop has always been our friend, so getting a venue wasn’t a problem at all.

What did your parents think about it?

Chukwuebuka: It was our mother’s wish before she passed on in 2013 but it was only a wish so we were not bound to have it that way.  Also, we married from different families and did our traditional marriages separately; everybody at their own time. But within three months, we were able to satisfy the requirements of our in-laws in line with their different customs and traditions. But for the white weddings, we decided to have them done together. It was initially supposed to hold on April 13, 2020 but was postponed before of the COVID-19 pandemic. And on June 6, 2020, we had our weddings together with about 20 persons in attendance, mostly delegates from our in-laws’ families. Our mum would have been happy if she were alive to witness it but God wanted it that way.

How did you propose to your woman?

Chukwuebuka: It was done the way guys do their things. We became friends and along the line, I was ready for marriage and she was there by my side. So, I told her I was coming to see her people. My father was ready and we fixed it. We had been friends and been very close for some time.

How did you meet your husband?

Okwuoma: We met at a church we used to attend when we were young. We lost contact at some point and found each other again. We developed interest in each other and started our relationship from there.

You and two other women married your husbands who are triplets on the same day, how did that happen?

Okwuoma: Our men had always planned to get married on the same day, so when each of them found the woman he wanted to marry, they discussed it.

Did the three of you talk to your women separately that you would like to have your weddings together or you did that together?

Chukwuebuka: We handled it separately but around the same time.

 

Did your wives initially object to the idea of marrying on the same day?

Chukwuebuka: Actually, I want to use this opportunity to commend them. They were actually the heroes of the event; they made it happen even though we never called for a forum to discuss or debate it, or convince them to buy into the idea. There was no serious objection even though we know that every bride wants to organise her wedding specially based on the picture of how she wants it to be, what she wants to wear, how she wants to look and things like that. Despite that, they all sacrificed that to make the event happen. So for the event, they had one designer who provided their gowns, they had one stylist who made their hair, and one makeup artist. They made a lot of sacrifices and I want to commend them and tell them how grateful we are.

Would you have liked to marry a triplet as you were triplets?

Chukwuebuka: Marriage is deeper than just creating fantasies. I had a picture of my wife in my mind. I saw someone who fit the profile and I married her. So I wouldn’t marry a woman because she is a triplet; it is about what I want in a woman, not about the circumstances of her birth.

 

Do your wives sometimes mistake you for one another?

Chukwuebuka: Is there anything like that? Personally, I am not really identical to my brothers. My wife doesn’t have that problem.

What was the most interesting thing that happened at that event?

Chukwuebuka: The medical doctor that delivered us as babies came and was the celebrity of the day – Dr Dickson Ani. That was the highpoint.

 

If after courting for some years, your partner’s brothers didn’t have fiancées yet, would you have agreed to wait for your husband’s brothers to be ready so that you could all marry on the same day?

Okwuoma: We actually waited. We waited for others and finally everything came out well.

How did you feel on your wedding day?

Okwuoma: I was very excited and fulfilled because it was initially postponed because of COVID-19. So, I was happy it was able to hold. I am grateful to God that He made it happen.

 

Most women like their wedding days to be special and to be about them, did you feel like the focus was not on you or that other women competed with you?

Okwuoma: No, the same things were done for everybody so no one could say her sister-in-law’s dress was better or something like that. We used the same hairstylist, the same makeup artist, and that went for everything else. We got our wedding gowns from the same place and we looked almost the same. There was no competition at all because the things we used came from same sources.

 

How would you describe your relationship with your brothers-in-law and their wives?

Okwuoma: We have a good relationship and planning the weddings together also helped. It brought us together as we communicated as if they were my brothers or my husband.

 

 

Mr Kenechukwu Onyia, who is the youngest of the triplets who got married on the same day, wedded Chinwendu Charity nee Orisakwe, who hails from Nkwere, Imo State. The couple tell RAPHAEL EDE that the joint wedding they had was divine

 

Why did you agree to get married on the same day and at the same venue with your brothers-in-law?

Chinwendu: It was divine but we had our traditional marriages separately. I felt the idea was nice. It meant the brothers were close and united to have wanted to have their weddings on the same day. Since the unity was there, we (ladies) should not come and separate them.

I agreed to it because I also loved my brothers-in-law’s partners. Since the moment we met one another, we had been like sisters. Most people think we are also sisters like our husbands are brothers. They say we look alike. So, the idea made me excited and happy.

Would you have married a triplet if you had found one?

Kenechukwu: It is not about the concept or ideology of twins marrying twins or triplets marrying triplets. It is about marrying your friend; marry who you will be happy with. It is not about trending or trying to appear on the pages of newspapers. It was also our mother’s wish; in fact, it was the last conversation I had with her before she passed on few hours later.

 

How did you feel knowing she was not alive to witness it?

Kenechukwu: It wasn’t easy; at a point when my daddy danced towards us, memories of times shared with her came back to me. I felt sad but we can’t question God since we did our best for her when she was alive. But it would have been awesome if she had been around to witness it, embrace her daughters-in-law and welcome them home.

How did you meet each other?

Kenechukwu: I met my wife in Owerri, Imo State – it was just magical.

Why do you think it was magical?

Kenechukwu: She was my friend, then we took it to the next level.

How did you propose to her?

Kenechukwu: I asked if we could go for lunch. We had launch and then one weekend, I asked how she planned to spend it. She said she didn’t know. I had just relocated from Port Harcourt to Owerri and she was my first friend there. While we were chatting one night, I asked if we could go on a date. She said she would be free that weekend. I popped the question one Sunday and she said she would think about it. Two weeks later, she said yes.

 

How did you meet your husband?

Chinwendu: I met him at my workplace; he was my boss. He is very intelligent.  I agreed to go on a date with him. He asked me a question that was funny and I told him I was going to reply him after two weeks. I gave him my reply and we started our relationship.

And what was the funny question?

Chinwendu: (Laughs) ‘Will you be my lady?’ You know that question is not easy to give an answer to. You don’t just jump into something serious like that so I had to take my time and be sure since I would be spending the rest of my life with him.

 

Did your wife initially object to the idea of marrying on the same day with your brothers and their partners? 

Kenechukwu: It was a welcome development; in fact, my father in-law danced the day he heard about the beautiful plan. He was very happy. My wife was fully in support of it. Some of things they said they wanted were not what we wanted so compromises were made. In fact, they wanted chief bridesmaids and other women on their trains. They wanted five women each on their trains and that would be 15 for the three of them. We pleaded with them to consider certain things and they agreed.

 

Do your wives sometimes mistake you for one another?

Kenechukwu: We look alike but also look different. Our voices are similar to some extent.

So nothing like it ever happened?

Kenechukwu: The first day my wife met Chinedu; Chinedu came to Owerri and I didn’t tell her he was in town. She was already waiting for me and I made Chinedu to go in first. She felt he looked strange. Then, I walked in and she shouted ‘I knew it’.

 

Have you ever mistaken your husband for any of his brothers?

Chinwendu: No, but he and Chinedu are identical. During Ebuka’s traditional wedding, I was with Chinedu’s wife. We were outside and needed to identify who was in the parlour. They wore the same type of dress. He was calling his woman to get something for him while we could only see his back. I didn’t know where my own husband was then and we were both confused; we were not sure if it was hers or mine. So he was calling, ‘Baby,’ but nobody answered. It was when he came closer that we realised it was Chinedu. We laughed so hard that day; we have birthmarks that we use to differentiate them. They really look alike.

 

What did you like about the joint wedding?

Kenechukwu: I liked the unity and bond we showed. We have been together since we were born and even after three women joined our team, it didn’t affect the unity. We thank God for the team spirit and unity.

It felt nice to marry on the same day with my brothers. After the MC announced Mr and Mrs Chinedu Onyia as the newest couple in town; six seconds later, Mr and Mrs Chukwuebuka Onyia were announced as the newest coulple in town and then Mr and Mrs Kenechukwu Onyia were also announced as the newest couple in town. It was nice watching as my brothers and their women exchanged marital vows and shortly after, it was my turn. Our parent and in-laws were also there for us.

You live in different states, how stressful was it to choose a venue and coordinate everything?

Kenechukwu: The coordination was actually handled by Ebuka; the credit goes to him. He was more or less planning for his wedding and two others scheduled for the same day. He did a good job.  Our relations who could not attend our weddings because of the COVID-19 lockdown could stream the wedding live. They were able to watch in their homes.

 

If you had been dating your husband for some time and his brothers didn’t have a partner yet, would you have agreed to wait for your husband’s brothers to be ready too?

Chinwendu: Yes, I would have waited once our traditional wedding had been done. It was fun; it is not something you would want to isolate yourself from and act like you are better than everyone else.

How would you describe your relationship with your brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law?

Chinwendu: We are like one family. It is unique and quite rare because I know you will not find such unity in some families. It is as if they are all my siblings. It does not feel like I’m married into this family; it feels like a continuation of life from my own home. It is really lovely waking up in the morning and everybody is around. You are eating and drinking; everybody is happy. We talk on the phone when we are not together. It is fun.

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